10 Tips to Make Valentine’s Day Fun (Not Overwhelming) for Kids With Autism

By: Matt Rokowsky, CEO of Above and Beyond Therapy

Valentine’s Day is often a joyful celebration of friendship, kindness, and love. However, for children with autism, it can also present unexpected challenges. Bright decorations, loud music, crowded environments, and social expectations (both at home or during school activities) can feel overwhelming. These situations can leave autistic kids and caregivers feeling anxious, making it difficult to fully enjoy the holiday.

The good news is that with a little planning and creativity, Valentine’s Day can become a positive, inclusive, and truly fun experience for every child. As the CEO of Above and Beyond Therapy, where we provide personalized ABA therapy in Georgia, I’ve seen how small adjustments can make a big difference. Here are ten practical tips to help make home celebrations enjoyable and prepare children with autism for school or social activities.

Preparing for Home Celebrations

Creating a calm and structured environment at home is the first step in ensuring Valentine’s Day is enjoyable for kids with autism. Even familiar spaces can become overwhelming if activities are unstructured or sensory demands are high.

Tip 1: Keep Celebrations Predictable

Autistic children often thrive when they know what to expect. At home, this can be as simple as creating a visual schedule or checklist for the day’s activities. Include items like craft time, snack preparation, a Valentine’s-themed movie, or quiet breaks. A clear roadmap provides reassurance, reduces anxiety, and helps children feel in control of their day.

Tip 2: Focus on Comfort First

Comfort is essential, so choose soft clothing that your child enjoys wearing and avoid outfits that feel restrictive or itchy. Consider lighting and noise levels when decorating or setting up activities. Creating a cozy environment with pillows, blankets, or a small seating area can help your child feel safe and secure. Remember, at-home celebrations should be enjoyable and stress-free, not overwhelming.

Tip 3: Offer Low-Stress Craft Options

Arts and crafts can be a fun way for kids to express themselves, but some traditional Valentine’s activities may involve messy glue, strong scents, or intricate steps that are difficult for sensory-sensitive children. Instead, provide tactile-friendly materials like stickers, soft paper, or stamps. Allow your child to choose which crafts to do, giving them autonomy and encouraging engagement. The goal is creativity and enjoyment, not perfection.

Tip 4: Create Quiet Break Spaces

Even with careful planning, children with autism can still experience sensory overload. So set up a quiet area where your child can retreat if they feel overwhelmed. This space might include noise-canceling headphones, soft toys, calming visuals, or a cozy blanket fort. Teaching your child that it’s okay to take a break will help them manage emotions and prevent frustration or meltdowns.

Tip 5: Encourage Alternative Ways to Show Affection

Valentine’s Day is about love and kindness, but traditional expressions (like cards or candy) may not resonate with every child. Encourage alternative ways to share affection, such as drawing a picture, giving a high-five, or sharing a favorite toy. Validating these forms of expression helps children understand that love and friendship can be communicated in diverse ways, without pressure to follow conventional norms.

Preparing for School or Social Activities

School and other social settings can be particularly stressful on Valentine’s Day. Many children with autism face new routines, group activities, or card exchanges, which can trigger anxiety. Preparing your child in advance and practicing social interactions at home can help ease these challenges.

Tip 6: Limit Overwhelming Social Interactions

Role-playing common Valentine’s Day classroom activities at home can help children with autism feel more comfortable. Practice exchanging cards or small group games in a calm, controlled environment. Offer your child choices: full participation, partial involvement, or the option to opt out. Respecting their social comfort level builds confidence and reduces stress.

Tip 7: Use Sensory-Friendly Treats

Traditional Valentine’s treats (sticky candy, strong scents, or unusual textures) may be uncomfortable or off-putting for some autistic kids. So consider alternatives like fruit snacks, plain chocolate, or small toys that are sensory-friendly. For classroom sharing, labeling treats as allergy- and sensory-conscious ensures inclusivity for other children as well.

Tip 8: Involve Your Child in Planning

Give your child a role in preparing for school activities. For example, let them help choose what to send to classmates or design Valentine’s cards. Practicing these activities at home in advance can reduce surprises and make the school experience more predictable. Also, involving your child in planning empowers them and allows them to feel ownership over the celebration.

Tip 9: Celebrate at Your Child’s Pace

Every child has a different tolerance for stimulation and social interaction. Encourage breaks during both home and school activities and allow your child to engage in activities at a comfortable pace. Focus on enjoyment rather than completing tasks perfectly or following a strict timeline. This approach helps foster positive associations with Valentine’s Day and reduces frustration.

Tip 10: Reinforce Positive Experiences

Positive reinforcement will strengthen confidence and encourage continued engagement. Praise your child for participating, regardless of the outcome, and capture special moments through photos, keepsakes, or verbal recognition. Discuss positive experiences from both home and school celebrations to build pride and excitement for future holidays. Recognizing accomplishments, no matter how small, helps children feel valued and celebrated.

Create a Calm and Joyful Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be overwhelming for children with autism. With thoughtful planning and attention to sensory needs, families can create celebrations that are inclusive, joyful, and meaningful. Prioritizing comfort, predictability, and choice (at home and at school) helps kids participate in ways that suit their abilities. Every child deserves a Valentine’s Day where they feel included and valued, and these tips can make it a positive, memorable experience that supports emotional well-being and family connection.

Matt Rokowsky is the CEO at Above and Beyond Therapy in Georgia, which is dedicated to helping children with Autism Spectrum Disorder thrive and reach their fullest potential. In his role, Matt educates others on how to support autistic individuals, challenge stigmas, and understand the unique strengths and challenges they may face. He and his experienced and compassionate team deliver personalized ABA therapy tailored to each child’s unique needs. They believe every child can succeed with the right support and guidance. Using evidence-based practices, Above and Beyond Therapy creates customized treatment plans that focus on communication, social, and academic growth. Through home, school, and center-based services, they work closely with families to ensure meaningful, lasting progress. https://www.abtaba.com/